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The Quarantine Diaries

The Quarantine Diaries

Project type: copywriting, email newsletter campaign, creative direction

Me every Friday night putting the finishing touches on the Quarantine Diaries w/ Alex

Me every Friday night putting the finishing touches on the Quarantine Diaries w/ Alex

When quarantine began, I was freshly single & very unsure of how to navigate the world in search of love. I absent-mindedly posted to my Instagram story, “how am I supposed to find a husband during COVID-19?” and I got so many responses- everyone was asking the same question. I created the idea of ‘quarantine crushes’ in hopes that I, and others, would find love by normalizing crushes and being honest about who they were. After lots of Instagram stories with question buttons and polls, I decided to put all of my thoughts & stories into a weekly newsletter. It gained a large following, and made quarantine livelier.

After several newsletters, I launched a tote bag that could double as a grocery bag (& that would do the flirting for you). This project is one I will remember and hold onto a long time. Read the newsletters below!

 
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So who am I? I’m the quarantine Carrie Bradshaw– self proclaimed of course. I did nothing to claim this title, other than the simple act of, well, claiming the title. Who am I really? Anna: a lover of flirting, a lover of romance, a lover of LOVE. Does that make me an expert? It depends on who you are asking. If you’re asking me, then hell no. I am in no way an expert. Do people look to me for advice on flirting and/or crushes? Absolutely. Trust me if you will, I’ll provide all you need to know navigating finding love through this global pandemic. 

My romance with the topic of quarantine flirting began when self quarantine first came into existence. I immediately downloaded two dating apps, with no real intention of finding love, but simply to keep the spark of “there are other single boys out there” alive and well in me. Did I still hope to find love even knowing it was all an act? Absolutely. And I won’t stop until I am saying, “I do,” at the altar. 

When I downloaded these apps, I began to rigorously categorize everything I saw in the men that had curated profiles. I became obsessed with figuring out what and why people do the things they do to find a match. Why do we need to picture ourselves in a certain light in hopes that someone will like us? Are we curating the perfect image of ourselves, fearing deep down that people won’t like us for who we are? 

I realized through this process that I am a pro at curating the perfect image. Call me an Enneagram three, it is a gift and a curse. As always, my questioning of a process or a grouping ultimately pointed back to questioning myself. What do I do to get people to like me? Is everything an act? Do I do everything to bag a win? You and I both didn’t think we would be getting this deep in the introduction email. My B.

I started a journal of all the boys I have flirted with, and through conversation, it seems that others have been flirting more than normal as well. This truly is my dream come true: crushes become part of normal life and become less scary. And I am excited to share this journey with you. No, I do not know the outcome. We are in the thick of this pandemic. But, in this boredom, I know that a taste of drama is a taste we need. 

With that, welcome to my notes page/ journal chronicling the boys I have flirted with during COVID–19. For some I will keep their real names, for others, I will change– not for the sake of their privacy, but for the sake of my pride. So buckle up, put on your flirtiest lipstick, and join me for this wild ride.

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I’ll be real, I have been in a MOOD this week (see picture above) & have not felt my usual flirty self. I’d like to say that since I emailed last week, I have been enjoying another quarantine fling, but really I am in need of some new excitement. But alas, I shall transition my role to becoming Emma Woodhouse and focus my efforts into helping others find love.

I launched a quarantine crush hotline on my Instagram stories in hopes of finding love… or to help others find love. The point was for people to submit their crush, and if I ever found a match, I would pair them up. Did it happen? No. Mainly, people needed to find a crush and I got around 80 submissions asking me to help find them a crush, which brought up the question… aren’t crushes the most easy and fun thing to obtain? This is my personal conviction, but obviously others don’t feel the same.

So how do you find a crush? How do you flirt? These are questions I have been bombarded with in my DMs. Countless people have asked me for help in these areas, as if I, a single girl, am the expert (I’m not). So here we go.

A common misconception is that crushes are scary and you cannot have your crush knowing that you in fact have a crush on them. People overthink crushes, as if it has to be someone they would actually date. No. Rarely do I ever think I would date my crush. Occasionally, a crush can turn into something more, but typically, you can hop from crush to crush without any real emotional attachment.

A crush could happen at any moment, and you could have multiple crushes at the same time. Take my Trader Joe’s crush for an example (I have two). My first Trader Joe’s crush was back in Athens– he worked at this fine establishment, and we would talk while he bagged my groceries. My second TJ crush is here in Atlanta. I have no idea his name or his story, but he wore a Star Wars shirt, chucks, and straight black jeans. He shopped in the smartest way possible: he parked his cart in an unused corner of the shop, then ran around through the crowded grocery, grabbed the things he needed, while dropping them back in the cart as he went along. I have the greatest respect for him. Yes, I have gone back every week at the same time praying I run into him again (I haven’t yet).

Another example of a crush could be a mutual friend that you’ve never met that you think is cute. He could live near, he could live far– again, there are no rules. For me this is Mike Nicastro, a friend of my best friend, and yes he’s the cutest boy I’ve seen in a while, and no I don’t care if he knows. That’s the beauty of a crush. There’s no commitment, and they aren’t scary. Are there real feelings? Maybe, maybe not, but who cares! Say it with me: CRUSHES> AREN’T. SCARY.

So why do you need help finding a crush? Did you see a cute boy at your local coffee shop? Did you discover a friend of a friend who you think is cool and funny? Do you suddenly think someone in your friend group is cute, knowing you would never date them? Then there you have it– there’s your crush. During this quarantine, yes it can still happen. I’ve had multiple new crushes since the start of it, one being Mike. You’re on Instagram for hours already, I know. Start to do some digging and see what you can find.

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Ok, so confession. In the last email I said that in my quarantine crush message box, the results did not work. But I failed to mention that a boy confessed that I am indeed his quarantine crush, and proceeded to ask me on a socially distant date. Yes, I know, crazy. Not expected. Truthfully, I had shifted all of my efforts from finding love myself to helping others find love, so when I got this particular DM, I was shocked. Flattered, yes, but shocked still the same. Was I still looking forward to walking through an Atlanta park with a margarita in hand for this date? Absolutely.

I have all of the respect in the world for someone admitting this quarantine crush. This is exactly what I have encouraged! But then I got to thinking: do crushes die when you ask someone on a date? I mentioned before that I am an Enneagram Three, the “performer” or “achiever” and master of disguise. My current persona, or brand for myself, is “single queen” – which basically means that I have adopted the idea of being single and able to be fun, flirty, and wild. Does a date ruin this persona? Maybe. But we all have to grow no matter what labels we put on ourselves.

Through this process (actually honestly while typing this entry), I am realizing that I only like being asked on a date if I had some part in the flirting beforehand. Isn’t that the fun of it all? Out with the old (chivalry) and in with the new (flirting your way into anything) (I’m kidding)! The chase is the fun of it all, the unknown, the risk of putting yourself out there for someone you find interesting. Why does the boy have to risk it all?

I, like you, do want clarity, but – before clarity, I want a little bit of fun. This is a thrilling time. It’s a thrill because you don’t really know if they like you or not, because nothing has been confirmed verbally; but also you do know because you’re confident that you are both being flirty. Nerve-wracking, thrilling, & way better than your stomach dropping on your favorite filler coaster – and it doesn’t require the long line.

I realize you may disagree, but this is coming from someone who loves to compete, and loves to win. If I had no part in the process, does it in fact count as a win? Because I was curious, knowing other girls and boys would disagree, I took to my Instagram stories to ask you what you think about this subject, and I will admit, I was shocked.

My initial questioning came from the ideas of: does the guy have to risk it all for the girl or should the girl have a part in the initial inquiry? Here are the results:

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What I assumed would happen was that everyone would agree with me (lol): that its ok for girls to make the first move, that boys would prefer to have girls show some interest before they asked them on a date, and that girls would WANT to flirt first. And boy was I wrong. I don’t think its fair that the boy makes all of the moves and I was shocked that so many people thought otherwise. Regardless, lots of girls feel empowered to make a move. There’s no right or wrong way to do it.

Something life changing with this subject is knowing that you are a catch and knowing you are worth someone’s time of day. I am not trying to preach, but truly, confidence changes everything. Even if you are nervous as hell (which you always will be), the bravery to step up and show interest in someone is thrilling and shouldn’t be all on the guy.

So what do you do next? How do you go from crushing to doing something about the crush? If you want to flirt but don’t know how, check back next week with my guide on how to flirt. You don’t want to miss.

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I think I realized recently that I am the female version of every man you’ve ever hated. I love to slide into your DMs, I love to bait and hook, and I love to flirt. You hate but love the super flirty boys, the ones that flirt like its their job.

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But when do they actually want more? Flirting– my favorite topic, yet, the topic that is hardest to talk about. Flirting is one of life’s greatest mysteries, & there truly is no way to pin down exactly what it is. If a day goes by and I haven’t flirted, did I really live the day to the best of my ability? That’s for you to decide.

If you haven’t enjoyed flirting, then maybe you don’t know how to flirt. This has to be my number one question I’ve been asked– Anna, how DO you flirt? Well, I’m here to tell you.

We all are wired differently, have totally different personalities, and different preferences. The way I like to do things just happens to be totally insane. For me, the more absurd, the better. Here are a few of my tips & how tops for flirting:

  1. SLIDE INTO DM’s. The absolute easiest way to flirt with someone is to slide into their DMs. You’ve probably even done this and experienced some success. It’s just true that you don’t repeatedly respond to a person of the opposite sex’s Instagram story unless you’re best friends with them OR you are interested in them. If a boy I don’t know well is responding to multiple stories, I immediately assume he’s interested in me. So start responding to your crush’s stories. Works almost every time. (If you’re reading this, that one’s for you ;)) – that was an example of me flirting with one of my readers.

  2. PLAYFUL BANTER. This one is for you to feel out. Banter can come in the form of sarcasm, roasts, picking on each other, silly arguing, or even just a shared sense of humor. The best part about this type of flirting is that it gets you and the person you’re crushing on to laugh together. Not only does laughter loosen you up and lighten the mood, but cute people are even cuter with a big cheesy smile from ear to ear ;) Everyone’s humor and comfortability with joking is different – you’ll have to be yourself and see if yours clicks with who you are flirting with.

  3. SKIP THE SMILEY – GO STRAIGHT TO THE WINKY-FACE. Seriously, works like a charm. The best thing is to be totally up front and fully honest that you are flirting. That’s what makes it work– always owning the fact that you are flirting. Throw a flirty emoji at the end of any text. To name a few: 😉☺️😚🥰😋😜🤪😏🥺

  4. FIGURE OUT WHAT HE’S INTO & BE INTO IT TOO. He plays fortnight? So do you ;) (but maybe learn how to spell it first). He likes cats? So do you ;) He makes homemade kombucha? You love kombucha!! He camps a lot? Buy a tent! You can learn to love anything, so create shared interests ;)

  5. ASK HIM TO TEACH YOU HOW TO DO SOMETHING. Boys love this. It makes them feel important AND superior! Very helpful for the average male ego.

  6. GET HIS ATTENTION. Be the most absurd girl in the room. If there’s music and dancing, go the hardest. Rise above the rest. Make everything a competition and then win. How will he ever notice you if you aren’t the most prevalent in his life?

Alright, jokes aside, my number one rule with flirting is to put yourself out there by being the most you that you can be. Since starting this quarantine crush series, I have had more boys make moves on me than in recent seasons. It seems to be directly correlated to my recent increase in learning myself and growing more into who I love to be.

How do you do this?: Own who you are. If you are completely absurd, be completely absurd. If you love to be serious and raw, be fully serious and raw. There’s a difference between putting yourself out there to get attention and putting yourself out there because you think who you are and what you have to say is valuable. Fear is what most often holds us back in this one – but this helps you grow into embracing and accepting yourself for who you are. The more you do that, the more others will too. Great flirting comes from being confident in who you are, and being confident in a bold move. Because even if you’re shot down, your worth is not decided by what someone else thinks of you.

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BOYS. Ugh. Right? You love them but hate them. This week, I am 1000% over them. I thought about quitting this newsletter because I don’t want to flirt with anyone and, I don’t know, I am just done. Maybe I really will be like Carrie Bradshaw– forever single and living life to the fullest with her girls. That seems pretty enticing. Last night, I read some childhood school day rhymes about boys being stupid and I felt really understood. Remember the one? Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider? Ah yes. Ages well. But anyways. Truthfully, this week has been one of hopelessness. You know the one: where you doubt where you are and where you’re going and nothing feels like it will work out. Can you have dreams and a great love? Is there any way to have both a career and a family? What if you want both?

Rejection. We know the sting well. Like an old acquaintance we would rather leave behind, but he just keeps coming back when we would prefer him not to. The pursuit we don’t want. When you’re dying for literally anyone to pursue you except for this. What do you do when you’re face to face with the reality that someone may not want you?

I’m not even going to expand upon that thought. FAR too depressing for this email. But we all feel it, right? We aren’t alone, I promise.

Ok back to boys being stupid– here are some things I don’t understand about them, and maybe you can relate (yes these are generalizations, I am simply just complaining):

  1. Boys never engage in Instagram polls. Why? What are they trying to protect? Their pride? Me shedding a tear for these boys. Rest in peace. Bye. (Shout out to my boy subscribers who did respond, I see you and thank you).

  2. Boys will lead you on but literally have no idea they are doing so. Don’t ask for my number if you are going to pretend like I don’t exist a couple days after. It’s never for a lack of interest, but literally because they don’t realize they’re doing it. What’s up with that? Just ask me on a date. Simple!

  3. A boy once asked me why girls cry so much. I don’t know, why do you literally never cry? Boys who are in touch with their emotions *chef’s kiss*

  4. Boys literally don’t think before they speak. When was the last time a boy said something to you that he absolutely should not have? It was probable today. It was for me!

  5. Boys literally make themselves the standard to which they compare themselves to, as if girls should be more like them. Why are girls so sensitive? Why is it never that boys are not sensitive enough?

Ok I’ll stop roasting– I truly do know some amazing guys, I am just fed up with the general thought of the mass population of boys that have caused me & my close friends hurt and pain (and I know this goes both ways– I know plenty of girls that have hurt guys close to me– none of us are exempt).

Honestly– we all have those weeks where hope seems to be lost. Hope lost for any mature boy to want to choose you– just because he wants to be with you. We tend to bring a lot of baggage created in past relationships with us into new spaces and it affects the way we perceive the boy in front of us, and the way we perceive ourselves. This week I have been asking myself the question: will anyone want to choose me? Being in your 20s is the weirdest time– you can be single, dating, engaged, married, and all of your friend groups are a combination of it all. The struggle is not letting comparison creep in. Why did a boy choose to be with her forever, while no one wants to choose to be with me? Comparison will get you. I’m guilty of it for sure!

The reality is: I want more than anything to be swept off my feet. Is that wrong? No. I don’t want to be the most emotional of the two– I want to share in experiences & share in thoughts and feelings. I want to be looked at and listened to like I’m the only person in the room. I want to be sought after like I am buried gold and held tightly and never let go. Where can you find that?

It’s not wrong to want these things and hope for them and dream about them. But, sometimes we put so much thought into and romanticize what we don’t have, that we forget to be present to the relationships we already have in front of us. Things I have been thankful for this week are my girl friendships. Hold on to them and never let them go. I think Carrie and her three best friends– throughout the different men coming in and out of their lives, the one thing that didn’t change was each other. Right now I have my girls, and right now, maybe that’s enough.

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This past weekend was one for the books. I bought my first car all by myself (with the help of an incredible community– ask me the story, it will bring you to tears). The car buying process is extensive. Lots of things to pay attention to. You’ve got car buying sites, you've got test drives, and turns out: it’s a whole lot like dating. You can swipe left and right on Carmax while perusing hundreds of cars, and then eventually you can take one out on a test drive to see what it's like. Sometimes it's a hit, sometimes it's a miss. No harm in the process though right?

I went back and forth between a few different models. Test drives are interesting- much like first dates, they can be fun and enjoyable, but how often is a first date a keeper?When you know you know. When I first test drove the car I ended up buying, it felt a little out of my league. A little too nice, a little too polished, (I even panicked and test drove a couple more just because it freaked me out– funny how we run away from good things?) but I knew that this one would last in the long run and be the most reliable. And that’s what you want right? 

And so I got her (him?– can’t decide yet. Send some names if you have one). While you may be thinking that my first thoughts driving off the lot in the new whip were about how smooth the ride was, you would be incredibly wrong. In reality, all I could think about is how a new relationship MUST be on the horizon. 

Alright you’re probably confused– I would be too. Here’s the deal. For every long term relationship I have had in my life, I’ve owned and driven a different car. I guess you could say, new car, new boy. So... new car… new boy? Guess so (here’s to hoping, right?– I know you few boy readers are already lining up at my door hearing this). So now I guess it’s time to go down memory lane. Each one of my relationships I’ve been in has centered around a different car. So maybe my history with cars reflects my history with boys? ;)

First up: Maroon Jeep Cherokee. This one was a good one. In a lot of ways it summed up freshman year of college– he was a party car, not super reliable, not all of the windows rolled down, but he could carry a tune blasting through the windows of my college town. I knew he wouldn’t last too long, but he was a fun one. Exciting at first, but the upkeep made it a hassle. Plus, there was never enough room for all of my friends. Life of the party, but got me in trouble with the law a few times– all for memories sake of course. He died over the summer– broke the news of the dead engine over a phone call. 

Up next: Another Jeep Cherokee, so from now on I’ll call it the twin. I returned to school my sophomore year from summer a camp girl. I kept frisbees and enos and hula hoops in the trunk, because you never knew when you were going to want to have some fun. My friends could never quite agree on its color… I thought he was silver while they were convinced it was gold. Sometimes, the twin would break down in the middle of the road, leaving me crying in the middle of Milledge, but eventually, he would turn back on and keep driving. After a couple of breakdowns in the middle of the street I gave him up, knowing it wouldn’t last. But now I watch him faithfully cart his new owner around town.

Third: Subaru Forester. One I had idealized for a while. My dream car you could say. This one was an unexpected gift. The perfect blend of everything: a little bit whimsy, a little bit outdoorsy, and a lot of the feeling of freedom– a car that I thought would last me for the long haul. I knew I was in love when it was in the shop getting fixed up. You know, they say Subarus last the longest on the road, but one day it just died on me. The hardest blow, the dream car gone in the blink of an eye. 

So now what? I bought a new car. Newer, nicer, more reliable. Sleek interior, mature, and more of an adult choice (are these qualities of my future man?). I guess you could say I like my men like I like my cars. Saying yes to an “adult” car is almost like saying goodbye to a rebellious past life full of young fun– one I’m not quite sure I’m ready to give up. I’d like to always hold onto a bit of the fun, and a bit of the wild. 

So will I say hello to a new relationship? Probably not if 2020 has anything to do with it. But can I hope that my own history will repeat itself? Absolutely. Here's to hoping he's reliable on the road, good on the eyes, and lasting in the long run. I’ll keep you updated ;)

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